I have a Little Problem – A Poem by David Ritter

I Have a Little Problem is a playful and lighthearted poem by David Ritter. It humorously follows the misadventures of an unruly middle finger that always seems to show up at the worst possible times. With witty rhymes and good-natured mischief, it’s a funny reminder that sometimes life’s little problems have a mind of their own!

I Have a Little Problem

I have a little problem,
That shows up now and then.
It seems to have a life of its own,
With a sly, rebellious grin.

My middle finger has a way,
Of speaking loud and clear.
Its universal language lands,
Even on the deafest ear.

It loves to make appearances,
In traffic jams or fights.
A single motion, swift and bold,
Can raise tempers to new heights.

It doesn’t ask my permission,
It’s brash, defiant, rude—
Like when it waved at Grandma’s house,
And spoiled the Christmas mood.

But soon my trouble doubled,
A sight you shouldn’t see.
Its twin jumped in to steal the show,
And flipped in harmony.

They’ve caused a stir at diners,
And once, in Sunday school,
They rose mid-sermon for the pastor,
And left me looking like a fool.

They’ve waved at friends, strangers too,
That left me in disgrace.
Once, scratching at my itchy scalp,
They aimed right at my boss’s face!

Now here I sit, unemployed,
Thanks to their rude salute.
Perhaps I’ll teach them finer tricks,
Like how to play the flute!

— David Ritter

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